My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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