New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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