The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
