I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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