Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
