just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
