The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
