Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
