I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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