Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
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