we're blogging at a bar
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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