We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
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