She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
