I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
