don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
