My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
