Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
