Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Michael Bay diarrhea
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
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