This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
