Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize