He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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