idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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