Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
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