If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
But break dance skills will only take you so far
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
