my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
