Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
