mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
