The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
