This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
