I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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