Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
