how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
