Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
