So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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