Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
