Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
