walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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