got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
