The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
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