Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
