Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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