Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
