We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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