i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
