my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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