i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
