All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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