Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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