they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
