I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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