you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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