There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
